Post by atticus on Apr 27, 2016 8:58:45 GMT
It probably hasn't gone unnoticed that the 400th anniversary of the death of William Shakespeare occured on 23 April and I feel that the occasion should be noted here at Kimmy Towers.
This is another of my blog entries from a year or so ago.
Like many of us I suppose, my first serious contact with Shakespeare was studying one of his plays for ‘O’ level or GCSE depending on how old you are. In my case the play was ‘Henry V’ which I devoured avidly. I absolutely loved it all – the language, the poetry the sheer excitement to be found in the story, the humour and the fact that the underdog won in the end. One criticism though is that the battle of Agincourt should have been the end of the play but after the battle we get the boring final scenes in which King Henry chats up and proposes to the French princess, Katherine. All very anti-climatic, soppy and unnecessary in my opinion.
The battle of Agincourt took place on October 25, 1415 which just happens to be St Crispin’s day. If memory serves St Crispin is the patron saint of cobblers (or perhaps shoemakers might be more appropriate nowadays) so this year on the day, grab a couple of old boots and wave them in the face of any passing shoemaker and wish him well.
I had a brilliant English literature teacher in Mr Mahoney (pronounced Marney as he had to occasionally remind his class) who made everything come alive. But I did feel he let me down on occasions. I learnt early on that Shakespeare’s plays abound with innuendo and matters rude and I was always trying to find them and ask Mr Mahoney to explain what they meant. For instance, in Act 11 of Henry V, the character Pistol refers to ‘The powdering tub of infamy’ and my finely tuned antenna suspected that this just might be such an utterance.
‘Excuse me, Mr Mahoney’, quoth I, ‘but what is a powdering tub?’
His reply was lame. He suggested that it was a container for gunpowder from which the infantry could draw their supply. Nah. Even I knew that there was no gunpowder at Agincourt. The battle was won by the skills of the archers so it had to be something else. So I set myself the task of finding out just what a powdering tub was and why it should feature in an insult. Bearing in mind this was pre internet and Wikipedia.
I was right. It turned out that either Mr Mahoney didn’t know or was trying to spare his own or his class’s blushes for a powdering tub was a heated sweat tub that folk used to sit in allowing the fumes to flush out their VD. A bit like Friars Balsam for the other end I suppose.
So, if you really want to be insulting then you really need look no further than The Bard.
How about
You starveling, you elf skin, you dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stock fish. Oh for breath to utter what is like thee! You tailor’s yard, you sheath, you bowcase, you vile standing tuck. (Henry IV Part One)
Or perhaps
Away you cut purse rascal! You filthy bung. Away! By this wine, I’ll thrust my knife
in your mouldy chops and you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away you bottle ale
rascal! You basket hilt stale juggler you! (Henry IV Part 2)
It matters not that nowadays we don’t understand all of the word meanings, in the same way that Shakespeare’s groundlings wouldn’t have a clue as to the meanings of floppy discs or Beatlemania. We can still get the gist of it and enjoy.
I am sure that we all have a number of acquaintances who so richly deserve to be treated to a few choice verbal ripostes from time to time so how about
I desire that we be better strangers (As You Like It)
More of your conversation would infect my brain (Coriolanus)
Vile worm, thou was overlooked even in thy birth (The Merry Wives Of Windsor)
Thou sodden witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows (Troilus and Cressida)
So here’s a little game we can all play. For the past few years we’ve had ‘Talk Like A Pirate Day’ in September so I’m suggesting ‘Insult Everybody With The Bard Day’ possibly to be held in November as apart from bonfire night not much else happens during that month.
To get you started, I’ve found this ‘Do It Yourself Shakespeare Insult Kit’. All you have to do is select a word from each column, put ‘Thou’ in front of it and off you go.
artless base-court apple-john
bawdy bat-fowling baggage
beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
bootless beetle-headed bladder
churlish boil-brained boar-pig
cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
craven common-kissing canker-blossom
currish crook-pated clack-dish
dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
droning doghearted codpiece
errant dread-bolted death-token
fawning
earth-vexing dewberry
fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
impertinent fool-born gudgeon
infectious full-gorged haggard
jarring guts-griping harpy
loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
mangled hell-hated joithead
mewling idle-headed lewdster
paunchy ill-breeding lout
pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
puking knotty-pated malt-worm
puny milk-livered mammet
qualling motley-minded measle
rank onion-eyed minnow
reeky plume-plucked miscreant
roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
spongy rude-growing pignut
surly rump-fed puttock
tottering shard-borne pumpion
unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
vain spur-galled scut
venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
warped tickle-brained varlot
wayward toad-spotted vassal
weedy unchin-snouted whey-face
yeasty weather-bitten wagtail
Hours of fun ahead.
This is another of my blog entries from a year or so ago.
Like many of us I suppose, my first serious contact with Shakespeare was studying one of his plays for ‘O’ level or GCSE depending on how old you are. In my case the play was ‘Henry V’ which I devoured avidly. I absolutely loved it all – the language, the poetry the sheer excitement to be found in the story, the humour and the fact that the underdog won in the end. One criticism though is that the battle of Agincourt should have been the end of the play but after the battle we get the boring final scenes in which King Henry chats up and proposes to the French princess, Katherine. All very anti-climatic, soppy and unnecessary in my opinion.
The battle of Agincourt took place on October 25, 1415 which just happens to be St Crispin’s day. If memory serves St Crispin is the patron saint of cobblers (or perhaps shoemakers might be more appropriate nowadays) so this year on the day, grab a couple of old boots and wave them in the face of any passing shoemaker and wish him well.
I had a brilliant English literature teacher in Mr Mahoney (pronounced Marney as he had to occasionally remind his class) who made everything come alive. But I did feel he let me down on occasions. I learnt early on that Shakespeare’s plays abound with innuendo and matters rude and I was always trying to find them and ask Mr Mahoney to explain what they meant. For instance, in Act 11 of Henry V, the character Pistol refers to ‘The powdering tub of infamy’ and my finely tuned antenna suspected that this just might be such an utterance.
‘Excuse me, Mr Mahoney’, quoth I, ‘but what is a powdering tub?’
His reply was lame. He suggested that it was a container for gunpowder from which the infantry could draw their supply. Nah. Even I knew that there was no gunpowder at Agincourt. The battle was won by the skills of the archers so it had to be something else. So I set myself the task of finding out just what a powdering tub was and why it should feature in an insult. Bearing in mind this was pre internet and Wikipedia.
I was right. It turned out that either Mr Mahoney didn’t know or was trying to spare his own or his class’s blushes for a powdering tub was a heated sweat tub that folk used to sit in allowing the fumes to flush out their VD. A bit like Friars Balsam for the other end I suppose.
So, if you really want to be insulting then you really need look no further than The Bard.
How about
You starveling, you elf skin, you dried neat’s tongue, you bull’s pizzle, you stock fish. Oh for breath to utter what is like thee! You tailor’s yard, you sheath, you bowcase, you vile standing tuck. (Henry IV Part One)
Or perhaps
Away you cut purse rascal! You filthy bung. Away! By this wine, I’ll thrust my knife
in your mouldy chops and you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away you bottle ale
rascal! You basket hilt stale juggler you! (Henry IV Part 2)
It matters not that nowadays we don’t understand all of the word meanings, in the same way that Shakespeare’s groundlings wouldn’t have a clue as to the meanings of floppy discs or Beatlemania. We can still get the gist of it and enjoy.
I am sure that we all have a number of acquaintances who so richly deserve to be treated to a few choice verbal ripostes from time to time so how about
I desire that we be better strangers (As You Like It)
More of your conversation would infect my brain (Coriolanus)
Vile worm, thou was overlooked even in thy birth (The Merry Wives Of Windsor)
Thou sodden witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows (Troilus and Cressida)
So here’s a little game we can all play. For the past few years we’ve had ‘Talk Like A Pirate Day’ in September so I’m suggesting ‘Insult Everybody With The Bard Day’ possibly to be held in November as apart from bonfire night not much else happens during that month.
To get you started, I’ve found this ‘Do It Yourself Shakespeare Insult Kit’. All you have to do is select a word from each column, put ‘Thou’ in front of it and off you go.
artless base-court apple-john
bawdy bat-fowling baggage
beslubbering beef-witted barnacle
bootless beetle-headed bladder
churlish boil-brained boar-pig
cockered clapper-clawed bugbear
clouted clay-brained bum-bailey
craven common-kissing canker-blossom
currish crook-pated clack-dish
dankish dismal-dreaming clotpole
dissembling dizzy-eyed coxcomb
droning doghearted codpiece
errant dread-bolted death-token
fawning
earth-vexing dewberry
fobbing elf-skinned flap-dragon
froward fat-kidneyed flax-wench
frothy fen-sucked flirt-gill
gleeking flap-mouthed foot-licker
goatish fly-bitten fustilarian
gorbellied folly-fallen giglet
impertinent fool-born gudgeon
infectious full-gorged haggard
jarring guts-griping harpy
loggerheaded half-faced hedge-pig
lumpish hasty-witted horn-beast
mammering hedge-born hugger-mugger
mangled hell-hated joithead
mewling idle-headed lewdster
paunchy ill-breeding lout
pribbling ill-nurtured maggot-pie
puking knotty-pated malt-worm
puny milk-livered mammet
qualling motley-minded measle
rank onion-eyed minnow
reeky plume-plucked miscreant
roguish pottle-deep moldwarp
ruttish pox-marked mumble-news
saucy reeling-ripe nut-hook
spleeny rough-hewn pigeon-egg
spongy rude-growing pignut
surly rump-fed puttock
tottering shard-borne pumpion
unmuzzled sheep-biting ratsbane
vain spur-galled scut
venomed swag-bellied skainsmate
villainous tardy-gaited strumpet
warped tickle-brained varlot
wayward toad-spotted vassal
weedy unchin-snouted whey-face
yeasty weather-bitten wagtail
Hours of fun ahead.
