Just Joking. Jokes For Everbody.

[Kimmy]

I wonder where the putter is!!!!!

[Kimmy]

A man bought a donkey from a preacher. The preacher told the man that this donkey had been trained in a very unique way, (being the donkey of a preacher). The only way to make the donkey go, is to say,

"Hallelujah!"

And the only way to make the donkey stop, is to say, "Amen!"

The man was pleased with his purchase and immediately got on the animal to try out the preacher's instructions.

"Hallelujah!" shouted the man. The donkey began to trot. "Amen!" shouted the man. The donkey stopped immediately.

"This is great!" said the man. With a "Hallelujah", he rode off very proud of his new purchase.

The man traveled for a long time through some mountains. Soon he was heading towards a cliff. He could not remember the word to make the donkey stop.

"Stop," said the man. "Halt!" he cried. The donkey just kept going.

"Oh, no...

'Bible...Church!...Please Stop!!," shouted the man. The donkey just began to trot faster. He was getting closer and closer to the cliff edge.

Finally, in desperation, the man said a prayer...

"Please, dear Lord. Please make this donkey stop before I go off the end of this mountain, In Jesus name, AMEN."

The donkey came to an abrupt stop just one step from the edge of the cliff.



"HALLELUJAH!", shouted the man.

[Kimmy]

A lady walks into Tiffany's. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?'

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price.'

[Kimmy]

[Kimmy]

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said,
"Yes, I have your name here; you want to see the doctor about impotence, right?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied,

"No, I've come to inquire about a sex change operation, but I don't want the same doctor that did yours."

DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS.

[Kimmy]

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it!



Get out of the car you scumbags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.



The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.




(True story!)

[Kimmy]

John, Joe and Jack were stranded on an island for several years. One day John found a Lamp on the beach so he picked it up and took it to show his two friends. As he started to hand it to Joe, John noticed it was dirty and he rubbed the dirt off.



Suddenly there appeared a Genie, who said, "I've been in that lamp for centuries so I will grant you each one wish for releasing me."

John said he was in the oil business in Texas and had a big beautiful ranch. He wished he could be back on his ranch. POOF! John was gone.



Joe said he wished he could be a millionaire on a cruise ship. POOF! Joe was gone too.





The Genie then turned to Jack and asked, "What is your wish?" After thinking for several minutes, Jack just couldn't make up his mind. He suddenly blurted out, "I wish John and Joe were here to help me decide."



POOF!!! John and Joe were back!!!

[Kimmy]

A doctor at an (insane) asylum, decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up nuts!" and the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, "Down Nuts!" and they all sat down. After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" and they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot-dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened, "what in the heck is going on"?.
The assistant replied, well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled,

"PEANUTS"!!!

[Kimmy]

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person..
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground..
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.



GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional..
2) Forget the health food I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


THE FOUR STAG ES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCES S:

At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . .having money.
At age 50 success is . .... . Having money.
At age 70 success is . .... Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . Not piddling in your pants.

[Kimmy]

Yesterday I was at my local
>> CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet
>> and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked
>> if I had a dog.
>>
>> What did she think I had, an elephant? So, since I'm
>> retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that
>> no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet
>> again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I
>> ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2
>> stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming
>> out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
>>
>> I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that
>> the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina
>> nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel
>> hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well
>> and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
>> that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with
>> my story.) Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in
>> intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her
>> no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse
>> and a car hit us both.
>>
>> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart
>> attack he was laughing so hard.
>>
>> I'm now banned from the Co-op.
>>
>> Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the
>> time in the world to think of daft things to say.
>>

[Kimmy]

A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding,
and the trooper started to lecture the farmer
about his speed,
and in general began to throw his weight around
to try to make the farmer uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket,
and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies
that were buzzing around his head.







The farmer said,
"Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said--
"Well yeah, if that's what they are-- I never heard of circle flies".
So the farmer says-- "Well, circle flies are common on farms.
See, they're called circle flies because
they're almost always found circling around
the back end of a horse."


The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket.
Then after a minute he stops and says,
"Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses back end?"
The farmer says, "Oh no, officer.
I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers
to even think about calling you a horses back end."
The trooper says,
"Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says,
" Hard to fool them flies though. "

[Kimmy]

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates.

Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses the man wearing somewhat sloppy clothes, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"

The guy replies, "I'm Jack Thomas Jr., taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff. Then it's the minister's turn. He stands up tall and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's Church, for the last forty-three years."

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man before me was a taxi-driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff.
Why, How can this be?"

Saint Peter, looks to the preacher and says,

"Up here, we work by results,"


"While you preached, people slept. While Jack drove, people prayed."

[Kimmy]

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"

[banger]

[banger]

[Kimmy]

A little boy wanted £100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the £100.00.

When the postal authorities received the letter to God, they decided to send it to the P.M.

The P.M was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a £5.00 note. The P.M. thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the £5.00 note and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through the P.M. and, as usual, those turkeys deducted £95.00 in taxes.

[Kimmy]

The Real Story


It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest
and the Bear family is just waking up.


Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty!
"Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the table
and sits in his big chair.
He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty!
"Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.

Mommy Bear points her finger through the door from the kitchen and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this? It was Mommy Bear who got up first.





It was Mommy Bear who woke everybody else in the house up. It was Mommy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mommy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper.
It was Mommy Bear who set the table.
It was Mommy Bear who put the cat out,


cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water and food dish. And now that you've decided to come downstairs and grace me with your presence ... listen good because I'm only going to say this one more time ... I haven't made the stupid porridge yet!!"

[Kimmy]

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon with great expression he said,

"If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."



He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile,
"For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."

[Kimmy]

The day finally arrived: Forest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself.
The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.

Saint Peter says, "Well, Forest, it's certainly good to see you.
We have heard a lot about you.
I must inform you that the place is filling up fast,
and we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone.
The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."

Forest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter.
I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams.
Shore hope the test ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forest.
But, the test I have for you is only three questions.
Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?
Second, how many seconds are there in a year?
Third, what is God's name?"

Forest goes away to think the questions over.
He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.
Saint Peter waves him up and asks,
"Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?
Shucks, that one's easy; that'd be Today and Tomorrow!"

The saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims,
"Forest! That's not what I was thinking, but... you do have a point though,
and I guess I didn't specify, so I give you credit for that answer."

"How about the next one" says Saint Peter, "how many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forest.
"But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve!
Forest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve:
January second, February second, March second... "

"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you're going with it.
And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind.
I'll give you credit for that one too."

"Let's go on with the next and final question," says Saint Peter,
"Can you tell me God's name?"

Forest says, "Well shore, I know God's name.
Everbody probly know it. It's Andy Howard."

"Andy Howard?" asks Saint Peter.
"What makes you think it's 'Andy Howard'?"

Forest answers, "It's in the song and the prayer."

"The song and the prayer?" asks Saint Peter,
"Which song and prayer?"

"Andy's song", responds Forest,
"Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me... ",
and The Lord's Prayer," responds Forest:
"Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name..."

[Kimmy]

A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, spots a good place to stop for a beer. As he approaches the bar, and sees a big sign on the door that says,

"NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!"

Hummm, Thinking this is a bit strange, he enters and sits down.

The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, looks him over and says
"You smell some kind of nerdy".

He then asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver explains to him that he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling. The bartender serves him a beer and says, "OK, truck drivers aren't nerds."

As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in wearing a pair of glasses with tape around the middle, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt that is at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver asks him "Why did you do that". The bartender replied, "Don't worry. The Nerds are in season because they are overpopulating this whole Silicon Valley. And Hey, "You don't even need a license."

So the truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads for the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the road. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, snatching up all of the computers. The scavengers are comprised of engineers, accountants and programmers. Each of them wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen.

He can't let them steal his whole load. So remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away. Believing he is doing the right thing, the truck driver reloads his gun. While Preparing to shoot a bunch more of them little nerdy guys, a highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of his car screaming at him, STOP!!! STOP!!!

"What's wrong officer? I thought nerds were in season."

"Well, sure," says the patrolman,

"But the limit is one per day, And you can't BAIT EM !!"

[Kimmy]

Brother John entered the "Monastery of Silence" and the Abbott said,
"Brother, this is a silent monastery; you are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so."

Brother John lived in the monastery for five years before the Abbott said to him, "Brother John, you have been here five years now; you may speak two words."

Brother John said, "Hard bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Abbot said. "We will get you a better bed."



After another five years, Brother John was called by the Abbott. "You may say another two words, Brother John."

"Cold food," said Brother John, and the Abbott assured him that the food would be better in the future.



On his 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Abbott again call Brother John into his office. "Two words you may say today."

"I quit," said Brother John.



"It is probably best, you've done nothing but complain since you got here."

[Kimmy]

It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do.. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly, can leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home." Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go." Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?

[Kimmy]

Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.

As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a "drop-dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare and when she passed them, smiled and said, "Good morning Father", "Good morning Father", nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?

The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits - these were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them - and again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc. After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini this time, came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.) Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: "Good morning Father", "Good morning Father", and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it and said, "Just a minute young lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?"

"Oh Father, don't you recognize me? Take a good look, now close your eyes, add a hat and gown. I'm sister Angela!"

[Kimmy]

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.

He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer."

He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way.
About a month later the little lady came in to his shop.
"And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.

"The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to
thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share
the room with?"

[Kimmy]

Four men were bragging
about how smart their dogs were.

One man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog.
"T-square, do your stuff."
T-square trotted over to a desk,
took out some paper and a pen,
and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that that that was pretty smart.

The accountant said that his dog could do better.
He called to his dog and said,
"Spreadsheet, do your stuff."
Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen
and returned with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into four equal piles
of three cookies each.

Everyone agreed that that was good.

The chemist said that his dog could do better still.
he called to his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff."
Measure got up, walked over to the fridge,
took out a quart of milk,
got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard,
and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that that was pretty impressive.

Then the three men turned to the government worker and said,
"What can your dog do?"

The government worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."
Coffee Break jumped to his feet,
ate the cookies, drank the milk,
claimed he had injured his back while doing so,
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions,
put in for worker' compensation,
and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

They all agreed that that was brilliant!

[Kimmy]

A drunk walks into a bar
and says to the bartender
(with a drunken slur),
"Bartender,
buy everyone in the house a drink,
pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

So, the bartender does just that
and hands the man a bill for $57.00.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender slaps the guy around
a few times
then throws him out into the street.

The very next day
the same drunk walks into the bar
and once again says
(with a drunken slur),
"Bartender,
buy everyone in the house a drink,
pour yourself one, and give me the bill."

The bartender looks at the guy and figures to himself that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice,
so he gives him the benefit of the doubt,
pours a round of drinks for the house,
has a drink himself and hands
the drunk a bill for $67.00.
The drunk says, "I haven't got it."

The bartender can't believe it.
He picks the guy up,
beats the living daylights out of him,
then throws him out into the street.

The next day the same drunk
walks back into the same bar
and says (with a drunken slur),
"Bartender,
buy everyone in the house a drink,
give me the bill."

In disgust, the bartender says,
"What, no drink for me this time?"

The drunk replies, "you!!??
No Way!
You get too violent when you drink.

[Kimmy]

The answer to one of life's great mysteries!
I haven't heard anyone explain this as well as the all-wise Cliff Clavin, on the sitcom Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm...

"Well ya see Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the lowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer elimates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

[Kimmy]

A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer.
After drinking it, he looks in his shirt pocket and asks for another beer.
After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for
another beer.
This happens about another seven times before the bartender asks him, "Why
do you keep looking in your pocket?"

The man replies, "I have a picture of my wife in there. When she looks good
enough, I'll go home."

[banger]

[Kimmy]

My daughter and I went through the Mc Donald 's take-out window
> and I gave the girl a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a
> twenty pence piece. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I
> know, but that way you can just give me a pound back.' She was puzzled and
> went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he
> handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that
> kind of thing.' The girl then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change!
>
> Do not confuse the staff at MacD's.